Receiving calls from relatives,they were shocked and disbelieve with my result.Usually there will be good news but this time it was different.Even my rival cousin didn't give any calls to tell how much she get,are we in the same situation?But I would like to congratulate you,because I think you defeated me this time compared to the past exams we've been through.
"Eh,Betul ke?"
"Laaaa,kenapa???Macam mana boleh jadi macam ni?"
"Banyak main eh?Tak pe ok la tu"
"Ohh...ok la"
The day before,I was texting with Rawr.
Rawr: Jaja! Esok result keluar,oouh takutnye
Me: Relax la,ko mesti score punyelah! Ko kn rajin.
Rawr:Erm,mintak-mintak lah ek.Esok,ko pegi skola naik ape?
Me: Jalan kaki! mwehehehe,aku dah pasrah ngan result tu.
Rawr:Jom jalan sama nak?
Me:Ok,ko nak tggu aku kt mane?
Rawr: Depan sekolah rendah,bertolak dr rumah pukul 10 am taw
Me:Ha,ye ok set!
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The last walk with Rawr and Zawr
Me: Aku rase dah boleh agak result aku. _ A
Rawr:Ish ko ni!tak baik taw mana la taw.Ha
Zawr: Ape la Firzanah ni,mane taw dpt result ok ke.
Me:Heh,aku rasa je.Tak tahu pun tapi rasa mcm betul.
Rawr:Issssh takutla...
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When I get my turn to take the result,I didn't even look at my slip.I felt nothing,I felt empty.Almost everyone got tears in their eyes,tears of disappointment and joy.To me it's like a normal day,going to school with a different kind of uniform.
My English teacher said: BI A,ye
My history teacher,"Wah boleh buat TESL ni,tahniah ye Firzanah"
Me: Haha terima kasih,okay bye ye cikgu.
Still I didn't look at my slip,walking home but then I met Isma's sister was on her way so she invited me to get in her car for a ride to return home.Then I took a look at my slip,and I was laughing and so does Isma and her sister<----after they knew about our results.Seriously? Yeah seriously.I keep my smile until I reached home.Dad was there,he saw me smiling and he expected that things gonna be like old times,but he was wrong."Congratulations!" dad smiled at me until his teeth showed up.
Dad:"Dapat berapa?"
Me:"Erm....nah"
Dad:"Hah??tengok kalau betul2 usaha tak jadi macam ni"
Me:"Rezeki masing-masing la pak,ok la tu.Dah bersyukur dah"
Mom and dad felt guilty after seeing my result.Why guilty?
Mom:"Kalau mama tak bawak jaja keluar dari sekolah asrama pun takpe,mesti boleh score"
Mom thought by bringing me home was a great idea so she can send me for tuition classes,but it turn out the other way.
Dad always told me whenever he sees me at home
"FAIL"."Fail la kalau macam ni caranya" he told me that every single day at least a billion times.Be careful what you wish for,it might come true.
When I pray,I asked for
"Ya Allah,berikanlah yang terbaik untukku" instead of telling how many A's that I want.So this is the best for me,Thank you Allah.There are always blessings in disguise.I believe that I could still catch my dreams and so far I am qualified enough to apply my dream course, TESL!
Last night I got a message from a friend saying:
"Why do you look so tough?"
"I wish I could be like you"
You can't be me my dear friend,you are a better person than me plus way smarter than me.All I do to forget how it feels to be frustrated is I accept the way things are.Take it easy,higher expectations bring great frustration but it doesn't hurt to have a big dream :).I believe anything is possible.
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