Today,the last day for me to experience the 19 years of my life before the digit turns 2...and of course with the 0. The day that I never wished for, yes... I'm always afraid that this day would come and I probably wishing the same thing to happen on every 31st of December....that is.. "Can I stay this age forever....?"
Unfortunately time waits for no man, so I had to become like everyone else who undergoes the process that is widely known as GROWING UP.
It's an irreversible process (this is unlike The Life of Benjamin Button story) I'm telling you,hmm.. suddenly I remembered an anti-aging product use slogans "Let's reverse time with......" yea...yea...no matter how much collagen you put on, your age will keep increasing...but look at the bright side~ at least you can keep the"baby face" looks for a longer period :D
There's only few hours left for me to spend, gosh...sounds like I'm almost going to write a will or something. Okay, 2013 was a life changing year for me as I've been through too many incredible experiences like for the first time ever, I successfully fulfill my resolutions. Alhamdulillah, I manage to get good results for both semesters this year, I manage to lose weight ( I want my fit and skinny body back!) and I'm very grateful to achieve the biggest achievement that I ever received in my entire life :), Winning the Perdana Leadership Blogpost.
Ever since I was a kid, I always dream of doing something big, something that no one ever done to change the world and make people remember me....the best way to chase my dream is to WAKE UP and WORK for it. Don't just dare to dream, but dare to make them happen.
Although I successfully fulfill this year's resolution, there are things that I've lost at the battlefield.....like I wrote before, in order to achieve a great success, a great sacrifice must be made. I've lost few friends...., I rarely spend my time online and going out and about like I used to during my old days...I mean younger days (when I was a fool and I didn't take my life seriously). There are doors with a Welcome mat that keep people coming into our lives and there are also doors which lead them out, people come and go unless the ones who are willing to accept you for who you are. We make mistakes and do stupid stuff and screw up things, but that was yesterday,we can't change yesterday but we can make a better tomorrow.
I was devastated at first, but then I start building myself up. There's no use wasting my time being sad when people walked out from my life, I began to appreciate the people around me. I left the "party people" ,spending most of my time at the library and also studying late night at the classroom. Studying was never a passion of mine, but when I think about the life that I destroyed 2 years ago. I learnt my lesson and I meet a group of people who have the same goal as I am, to become successful people.Then something that I never thought of doing suddenly become a "hobby", studying is not that boring. You just have to make it interesting so you'll never get tired of it.
As a person who once believe that there's no such thing as happy endings like the end of every bedtime stories...I began to wonder....If God created Heaven for good people so they can have a happy life eternally, isn't that a happy ending? A perfect happily ever after.
I wasn't a friendly person before, I kept myself out of everyone's picture....I've been on my own for too long because I always find hard to fit in. I'm too afraid of getting hurt again so I keep my distance from people ..... thinking I don't need other people to make me a successful person, it's my own effort to make myself who I am but I forgot one thing, my mom always pray for my success...I still need her in my life, her blessings and her love. Orphans would do anything if they had the chance to hug their moms again....but I used to ran away when my mom wanted to hug me. I pushed people away when they want to get close to me. The word alone, means nothing to me....
Despite of having a worry-free life, I feel that something is still missing...I don't find my happiness. Studying, working out, avoiding eye contact with people are my daily routine...I got tired of doing the same thing everyday...I don't talk to people much...I want to change.
One day I decided to smile to every people I bumped into wherever I walk, and so I did. For the first time ever, I felt satisfied and happy. People smiled back at me and sooner from smiling to Hi and then conversation begun, then I got new friends besides my classmates and my housemates. Surprisingly they accept me for who I am, I don't have trouble to fit in with people anymore and we become so close like we've known each other for a very long time. They treat me like a family, and make me feel it's like home again. I found my happiness with the ones who accept me for who I am and I don't want that happiness to be taken away from me.
If people walks away from your life, there's always a better replacement awaits. My new resolution for 2014 is just to be happy with the ones I love and get good grades :D