Roses are dried within days,
A broken heart takes forever to heal,
I was confused and dazed,
Hoping my wound would start to feel,
Feel the peel?

I'm switching the vacuum on! It sure is dusty here....oh my god! My Nyan Cat had just turned into a spider...spider cat-spider cat,can he swing? No he can't he's a cat...look out it's Spider Cat! He does made some shabby spider webs.Okay...so What happened to me?Where did I go? <----Lame questions from myself,hehehe XD

Well I actually went to school for 3 weeks....and I never had the time to blog since tiredness conquering me! I'm old...T_T....and actually I think that I've lost myself for the time being.

I can't write like I used to,
I can't think like I used to,
I don't feel like I used to,

Why I've changed so much lately? A single thing has ruined my first dream and it left me a deep scar.
I couldn't think rationally since 7th of April.I had to admit,I can't really get up from my sleep after my dad throw me dozens of pillows...leave me alone.I want to sleep forever<----I had no intention to be the Sleeping Beauty! Hohoho.....I always get disappointed easily,does disappointment similar to "Giving Up?"

No! It's not giving up....it's just...well ...how can I describe this..hurm.... it's like this heart broken that is caused by a "Great" sadness.So yeah,I'm just depressed not giving up or anything and since I didn't have much time to blog and read your blogs....I became less interested to write T^T .

I need your help,I'm dealing with the biggest dilemma in my life...It's not like I'm getting married and stuck between 2 guys...hey wait! I am dealing with two "Guys" here TESL and Mass Communications.I got both offers.Tesl,at first I was in love with you and I don't want to lose you but then....you don't love me as much as I do...I give you all I have but you tossed it in the trash,YES YOU DID!<--- I won't catch a grenade for ya.

Mass Communications came and saved me from great frustration....I fell in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you <3.....but suddenly TESL called me "Baby come back to me.I'll be everything you need"....You left me and want me back? No way pal...I hate you T_T...How could you do this to me?......I don't love you like I used to...I don't want you like I used to...Why?

When I didn't get what I want...I will look after a new one,I will hate the things that I used to love...
My mom asked me to think wisely before I choose....she wants me to take TESL...and she didn't want me to reject TESL because of my frustration...Sorry mom,I couldn't accept TESL....it drives me crazy!

TESL or Mass Communications.......? Allah please help me choose....I don't want to end up in a mental institution because of this...I'm not demented T_T

Have you guys ever wonder why I use "Liselle Moncherie" instead of my real name?
Well Do you? It's okay if my name never crossed your minds but now I am typing the history of my real name and that is FIRZANAH.

I used to hate my name when almost everyone called me "Pizzahut" and "Piranha" when I was 7....I hate school and I hate almost everyone in school.They didn't know to differentiate between P and F,huhu pity them...they didn't "graduate" from the kindergarten.Even on my certificates,they wrote "Farzanah" instead of "Firzanah".When I was 8,I went to a Quran Reciting class and there was a very nice Ustaz who likes to ask me about my name,and he likes to call me again and again...although I pass my turn to recite the Quran until he told me "Firzanah,Ustaz suka sangat nama kamu ni tiap-tiap kali Ustaz nak sebut,kalau la Ustaz ada anak perempuan Ustaz nak letak nama Firzanah jugak".Hmmm he's the only one who likes my name besides my parents at that moment but at the primary school?Only Allah knows.

Sometimes,when I came back from school.....I throw away my school bag furiously and ask my parents why Firzanah? Why? There are lots of other names that you can give me but why Firzanah?
"Nama tu special,maksudnya Yang Cerdik.Jaja kan pandai,nama tu kan sedap mama dengan bapa bagi nama Islam tu ada dalam buku Nama-Nama Islam tu,cuba Jaja tengok".I search for the book and found names with the letter F,the named FIRZANAH was underlined with a pencil.My parents chose the name,and I carried them with a pride.....even my characters are slightly different from the kids with my age...and that's why I've been teased a lot.

Do you know how annoyed I was when an Ustazah just asked me "Apa ke pelik betul nama kamu ni,bukan selalunya Farzanah ,ni Firzanah apa maksudnya entah?"<---In a very sarcastic way.I get that a lot from other people too,hey the patience meter just reached the maximum level.She always called me Suzannah.If someone calls you with a wrong name everyday,would you be mad?

"Ustazah,mak pak saya bagi nama saya Firzanah ada maksud tau,Yang CERDIK.Bukan saja-saja suka-suka nak bagi."a quick answer came out from my "Big" mouth.She was surprised to see how angry I was when I answered.The whole class was in shocked,the first time they saw me stood up and tell them my name wasn't a thing to play with.I got a name and so does everybody else and the only difference is that my name is quite unique and rare,mwehehehe.Since that day,no once dares to tease my name.All the boys received punches and kicks from me.Satisfied? Yes,I am.Bullies and teasers don't deserve to live,they are the losers who try to hide their weakness by mocking other people.How stupid....and how pathetic they are but then again history made who we are.

2004,I volunteered myself to help the Headmaster to translate an English book entitle "The Blue Boy" into Bahasa Melayu during school assemblies.That story...it' about a boy who is blue in Africa and everyone likes to tease him for being different and I...imagine myself as Him.So when I read the story I feel motivated by his courage.He ignored all the teases and names given and he finally success to be a Soccer player because he has a big talent playing Soccer.All the pain is a motivation for him to be a successful person.Everyday I have to get on the school stage and while the headmaster reads the story in English and I will translate them into Bahasa and guess what,the Headmaster gave me RM 1 everyday!Huhuhuhu well that's my luck.My name is no longer a joke,every teachers in school knows me and the boys.....I saw them began to feel ashamed of themselves.I don't get teased anymore and questioned about my name.

After years go by,I've been planning to change my name....it's not like I hate my own name but I don't like to remember the past....and how bad I felt when people teased my name.I want a new identity and I want people to forget the "old" Firzanah.....no more Pizza and Piranha.

Labels: Future, Past, Present

Life in school is not really exciting when you're 17 1/2 waiting to go 18....but anyway I'm still glad that I could come to school and try to be a student for my 3rd High School and that is SMK X mwehehe! 3rd High school???? Yep the 3rd...Boarding school,Regular Public School and Boarding+regular public school.I've tried them all! This would be my last school then...very tiring!

What happens to my uniform? My mom didn't send it to the tailor...So it means that I'm not staying for Form 6! Yay! She told me to wait for the 2nd intake and The KTT called me and ask me to enter the college on 3rd June for the interview.Enter the college before the interview,kinda weird but at least I get another chance to become a successful JOURNALIST! I purposely go to school....although I know I'll be leaving soon,but I want to spend my time with Nisa....after all this journey for almost 3 years as schoolmates and classmates.She really understands me....I love you so much Nisa!!!!

"Jangan risau pasal interview sgt iye,ramai orang dapat lepas tapi sebabkan Uitm tak boleh nak arrange jadual interview,nanti anak puan boleh daftar dulu masuk KTT baru kita arrange interview" Said Encik Shukri,the intake officer just called my mom this afternoon.


Being in school...is very tiring..this school is the biggest school I ever been! I guess I do need some exercise before I started college ehehehe burning the calories and fat,plus...I don't have much time to post and reading your blogs T_T...I know...it sucks when I can't read your blogs.Time is squashing me to do this and that.I only have time to read your blogs on weekends....my blog would be dusty and even dustier....postings will be posted on weekends too ...Oh Man!!!!! U_U

So here comes the senior,I took a career test lately and the result is...."LAWYER" seriously? My friends told me "Sesuai dah! Jangan sia-sia kan bakat ko Firzanah"....erk guys don't you remember that I break the law...instead of fighting for it?The only thing that is worth fighting for me is.....<---the rights for myself?Lawyer is not an interest of mine,although many people encourage me to become one....Sorry guys,Liselle is better as a Journalist :)

"Baru je daftar tetiba nanti kena kemas barang balik"said Mom
"Aish,kenapa pulak?"me
"Ye,lah tengok-tengok Uitm panggil 2nd intake TESL"Mom is hoping for that

"Heh,banyak lagi orang dalam dunia ni mama,dia mestilah pilih orang A+.Siapalah nak ambil budak yang tahu cakap tapi dpt sikit je A.Beria panggil orang interview tapi nak ambik orang based on SPM,fokus Mass Comm dulu.Jaja dah malas nak berharap benda yang tak pasti.Banyak lagi la orang dia nak pilih,Jaja dah tak kisah sebab Jaja dah nak buat Mass Comm.Lagi best boleh jadi mcm Ryan Seacrest" I said with full of enthusiasm for Mass Comm!

"Takdelah,mana la tahu.Mama rasa macam diorang nak panggil Jaja buat TESL"A Mother's hunch....

"Same je la..haritu mama rasa Jaja dpt UIA,tapi tak dapat mana pun.Haaa,lupakan TESL.Mass Comm!" I don't believe in hunches and intuition anymore.

I realise that I can do many other things but they are just not my interest.I began to believe a saying that says "One day we will hate what we used to love and we will love what we used to hate".

Happy Sunday to everyone! After a week of depression and isolating myself from everyone,I finally feel relieved after I torn off my TESL interview worksheet.Time to move on then,the truth is,I'm not sure whether I have been chosen for the 2nd intake,because there are lots of other people who are far better than me with their A's.Better,brighter,smarter and so much more! They don't need people like me so I guess I feel great when I received an offer letter from Kolej Teknologi Timur (KTT) Sepang for Mass Communications.Oh yeah!

The college is a collaboration with Uitm and the syllabus is the same with Uitm the only different is the venue.They informed my mom that a lecturer from Uitm will call us to give tips for the interview,which is why I'm very happy and looking forward for it! Yes! I feel so relief from this madness.No more dark clouds around me,hello rainbow! I got my confidence back,my parents didn't want to see me sad so the fees for KTT is not that expensive,RM 500 for 1st Semester and then RM 300 onwards.

No more sad Liselle! I'm back :D muahahaha.I'm manning up  and try to put my life back together right now.I miss writing happy posts,huhuhu so today I am writing one!


This is me now hehehe since Ryan Seacrest is getting old I might become the next host and announcer mwehehhe!Being on stage is my thing,I've been working on stage since I was 8 for many occasions. Poem recital,Singing,Public Speaking,Debate,Drama & Theater and so much more.I even participated for Arab Language public speaking when I was 13,it was a try-out when nobody in my class want to stand out for the challenge.Since then,the "Putera" in my school will make this sound "Ouuuuuuuuh...Jajaaaaaaaa" and sometimes they would change the Suzana song to Firzanah....okay...I did these things for the school not for popularity or whatsoever.I never thought they would have a song whenever they see me performing mwehehe.So I think I can do Mass Comm pretty well.

What if I suddenly get the call for TESL? Easy I pack my stuff from KTT,wait for my mom to pick me and send me to Uitm.End of story~

Day 4,SMK ******,it's the time where lower 6 students had their recess,the canteen is packed with swimming sardnines....I'm not eating then.Nisa was very hungry but then someone came to us,it was my ex-classmate and an old friend of Nisa.Short reunion?pretty much.They wanted  me to join them for recess but I want to stay in the school hall...so much for having "alone" moment.Watching the fresh pistachio green painted walls,the stage tiles and the maroon coloured curtains waving me from far.

"I knew it!It must be you!I'm sorry,to see you here.I don't know what happened to you I thought that you got TESL your mom didn't tell me about this and I only knew about you this morning" Miss Mahani,she's a MUET teacher that I've known for 12 years....an old friend of mine,Aunty Mahani mwehehe!

"Erm...I've did my best,I don't know..."The word 'TESL' makes my eyes watery.My eyes are not fully recovered,I still look like a raccoon.

"I can see how sad you are,I know you must be really sad and heartbroken.Someone yelled at you yesterday right? I sympathise you"

"Oh,so you've heard the retarded girl yelled at me?"

"Hahahaha,those kids are retarded.Yes,I was there and I heard her,look the merit system they take the A's students first but if you get the 2nd intake prove to them that you're good"

"I don't know whether I'm going for the 2nd intake...I mean...I'm kinda lost my confidence.I'm going for an interview for Mass Comm soon at Sepang"

"No you can't lose your confidence,don't give up.I know how hard for you to accept this.Is that really what you want,Mass Comm?"

"I don't know...I don't know who I am anymore...I wanted to be a robot inventor when I was 12...I've got into an engineering class...I almost get what I want and then I've been transferred to this...normal public school because my mom wants me to take pure science in a school where I've been teased for being different...they call me names....and then I started hating schools.With my disappointment I never pay attention in class.....I never knew that I could write things until...last November that is how I wanted to be a writer or even an English lecturer"

"Please go for the 2nd intake,those experience are your life that actually helps you to write.Being sad really helps writing,it can make people feel the emotions.Maybe you can be really successful in Form 6 and with all these hardship is a test.I believe in you,don't be sad you've got to move on.I'm kinda busy lately and when I wanted to see you means that I really have my time for you"

Sometimes,I always feel that I'm alone and no one cares about me but I'm wrong! There are people who cares about me.I'm not alone and never will be! You guys have been here with me and I'll do the same.Be there for each other :D!

I realised that I've never been this sad in my life...I never felt sadness so badly and whenever people ask me "What is the saddest moment in your life?" I always answer "Hmmm,I don't have any REAL sad moment actually".Allah has fulfilled the missing emotion in me and that is my sadness.Now I understand ,the true meaning of sadness and I'm trying to get up from my pool of tears.Today's mail is:KTT Mass Comm Interview arrived for me :).

Thursday,10th May 2012.It's been 3 days I've been going to school as a 6 former along my best buddy Nisa at SMK ****,so far...it's okay I guess.The first impression that I get is the weird stares from juniors,they usually see me wearing plaid shirt and jeans to school as my mom's secretary hehe and then they saw me in a school uniform with a pair of black leather shoes....they kept whispering to each other when they saw me....ummm gossiping?You don't know me,kids and I don't know you so we are even.

Nisa and I were kinda hoping to get out from the school ASAP.My mom thinks the same,I'm not comfortable when my mom is the boss and my mom is not comfortable too.Huhuhu I've been an undercover student for 3 days,almost everyone didn't know that I'm the boss's daughter until....my mom asked me"Ja...fail mana fail nama-nama Form 6?" ......a friend that I knew from my primary school over heard and she suddenly "Ohhh,patutlah macam kenal! Rupanya mak kau".

I was...Oh No! "Jiran la,bukan mak kita".Nisa was in a bad temper when this particular girl keep telling other people that I'm the boss's daughter. Errrgh! "Eh,kalau dia cakap jiran jiran lah".So far Nisa and Emma are the only people that knew about me and my mom."Ish dah la mak dia,pastu tak nak mengaku"
It's not about the "Admitting",it's about the problems that might appear when people know who I am.
So it's not easy,not as easy like other people thought it would be.Oh man!....tomorrow is going to be another orientation day...

On this afternoon,I had to stay back with mom until 3 PM.I was walking alone and carrying a file to go home,suddenly a trio of juniors was talking to each other  while walking.I was in a hurry so I walk quickly to pass them awkwardly 1 of them greeted me with a sarcastic manner "Assalamualaikum Ustazah,Hahahahahahahahahahhaah"she laughed loudly.Apparently she's a Form 2 student,2 of her friends didn't laugh,they knew I'm a senior although I might look like their age.Nobody was laughing at her sarcastic greet.If it's not because of my patience,the file that I held might be used to slap her face and there was a Form 5 student was watching me from far<--- A silent witness was there,I couldn't slap her in public in order to save her from the humiliation.But I told about this in public anyway hahaha XD.

"Patience Firzanah,they are just 14 year old kids who are retarded,you are almost 18 and you are way smarter than them who have the IQ level of  5 year old children"my heart tells me not to slap her.I know why she called me Ustazah,my "tudung" that I wear to school is from SMKA.Kid,today is your lucky day,if I see you again tomorrow and doing the same greet to me.My hands would probably doing high fives on your left and right cheeks.My yellow uniforms are not finish yet so when I'll start wearing them next week,be careful to who you are talking to,If I ever see your face again,you're "dead".So the conclusion is....Form 6 ain't cool without the yellow uniform! Hahahah XD.

I tried to move on but there are still things that I never satisfied with,
Things that I've done lately,my Ego is my imaginary friend.Listening to this song kinda makes me feel a little better....my inbox is full with questions and motivations from special people.Thank you so much...but a part of me had missing and it's hard to bring my heart back to live....my parents want to send me into a private college and they called me saying that "Nanti lecturer Uitm call untuk bagitahu tips untuk interview ye" a clerk from a college from Sepang called my mom.An interview for Mass Communications,happy or...? I don't know...I don't have the mood to go for another interview right now.I really hate when I've work so hard and then I failed.Just like the TESL interview.Anger is taking over my heart...Hate starts to evolve in me.






I've listened to this song to help me to control my ego,perhaps I'm the only who thinks that I'm too good for not being chosen.Too good?


Caught the train on the later side
Looking for a place with a little bit of life
Been a tough week, can’t deny that I thought about stopping
More than once or twice, oh no, some more advice
Keep your head up while you’re pushed to the side
And maybe with a bit-bit more luck
You can get picked up from wherever you lie
I know, I know it’s not enough, you know, you know it’s hard enough
To get a decent chance around these parts-around these parts
I know, I know it’s not enough, you know, you know it’s far enough
That you can’t get there on your own anymore


Lately, I’ve been trying my best
But maybe it ain’t good enough
Running in circles I guess, round and round, it never stops
It never stops, it never stops, it never stops just like a figure 8
It never stops, it never stops, it never stops just like a figure 8

[Verse 2: Outasight]
Hailed a cab on the early side, looking for a train to get uptown
Uh, think I wanna see home, don’t pick up the phone
Can’t hear a sound, search our whole lives up and down
For what can’t be found instead of appreciating of what we have around
Or what we have now gets tossed to the ground
I know, I know it’s not enough, you know, you know it’s hard enough
To get a decent chance around these parts-around these parts
I know, I know it’s not enough, you know, you know it’s far enough
That you can’t get there on your own anymore



Lately, I’ve been trying my best
But maybe it ain’t good enough
Running in circles I guess, round and round, it never stops
It never stops, it never stops, it never stops just like a figure 8
It never stops, it never stops, it never stops just like a figure 8
It never stops, it never stops, it never stops just like a figure 8
It never stops, it never stops, it never stops just like a figure 8

Bon Jovi's song was haunting me...."Oooooouh,Half way there,Oh Oh living on a prayer take my hand and we'll make it I swear...."

Well since 12.30 pm until 7.15....my eyes were filled with water and dark circles start appear on my eyes...how ugly....until my brother try to stop me from crying...Hohoho that's the first time when he try to coax me...everyone in the house was worried...that's the first time they ever seen me crying until I refuse to eat and has been living in  the dark.......

My dad never saw me crying so badly....I rarely show my feelings to everyone and then....yesterday was the saddest day in my life.Dad knows how hard I study to go for the interview....he even took me to look for books at Popular,my dad read my Ding Ding Ding post....he cried for me..hurm....the first time he read my post and probably be the last mwehehe....<----I'm okay now...

My mom told me that I can be whoever and whatever I want....she even told me...that even though the interviewers gave me good marks during the interview,I still missing few other things and that is my A's.They are still counting the A's.....like I thought earlier.My friend asked me to wait for the 2nd intake but I refused.I don't wait things pal,time doesn't wait.After several pulled of tissues....my eyes finally stop flowing with water,I was afraid that I might go blind if I didn't stop flooding my house.

"Bukan mama tak nak bagi Jaja masuk private college tapi sekarang mama kena buat loan,PTPTN takkan bagi full loan kat kita,kalau mama banyak duit mama boleh hantar pergi Overseas tu study.Lagipun mama rasa Jaja ni belum ready lagi nak pergi further studies.
Mama rasa Jaja boleh score Form 6,Jaja bukannya tak pandai cuma malas je.Form 6 dah silibus baru,sesuai dengan jiwa Jaja,silibus baru tu memang kena byk imagination dan creativity.Uitm,they just didn't know how good you are"


"Ish...entah-entah diorang tu tersilap,nak potong nama orang lain terpotong nama Jaja,mana tahu...la kan kot-kot jadi macam tu,tak mustahil benda tu boleh berlaku" Dad,he tried to wait for the call that might change the situation...hurm...well I don't know! I am very disappointed with myself....I never get what I want....I almost get what I want...ALMOST.


"Buat la rayuan,InsyaAllah dapat tu...." said my mom's boss....I won't go if I've got for the second intake.Where should I put my face? I've got pride NOT price so it's your loss for not choosing me and purposely cancelling my name.I'm entering Form 6 and that's final! I'm looking forward to apply the Astro Scholarship,and they need at least 3 A's for STPM and at least 3.5 CGPA with high marks for extra-curricular activities,Applicants must possess pre-university results for overseas university applications .They can sponsor the people who is going for further studies abroad such as USA,India,Australia,United Kingdom and so much more~


New Zealand or New York? Hmm I always wanted to go to New York,New York University.It sounds so cute when it's pronounce as NYU~




In New York....
These streets will make you feel brand new,
These lights will inspire you,


Hohohohohohoho! Half way there....Half way there.
I feel young when I went to school this morning,wearing my old school uniform...and my mom is the Penolong Kanan for Form 6.I have to behave then XD.No more skipping classes,I'm in a new school with my mom...ouuuh scary but I will get up from this fall.So New York wait for me!!!

Thanks to everyone...you guys really lighten up my heart...thanks so much...even a million thanks couldn't be enough.Huhuhu :')

Today,marks the day when some of us are happy and some of us don't well the way I see myself...I might check in at Tanjung Rambutan tomorrow.Yes,you guess it I didn't get it.The whole interview thing is a waste of time and money,if they didn't convince me that day I won't put my hope at a very high level.....now if the interviewers are infront of me.....I might strangle them and ask "What did I do wrong?Tell me now! What! What is it? Am I not good enough? Oh wait...there are millions of other people just like me..."

Next time,if you don't like to interview me,don't give me the sign of  an"Agreement"! I'm tired all of these time wasting...plus...the other part of me died.Kapoot! Gone for good...it's like dead and gone...I might bored you with my frustrations....lately I've been doing my best,but it's not good enough.It never stops just like a figure 8.Never stops....I answered all your questions,with such enthusiasm.Calmly without panicking! I've done nothing wrong....nothing! You told me "We are not based on papers~" well I don't believe it.That's it I'm going to school and take Mass Communications instead of TESL!

I don't mind if I sucks during the interview but I did it well,I did it as planned....Why didn't I get it? Why tell me! My eyes are raining with tears I don't know when will I stop flooding my house...I can't see....

My cousin saw me with a box of tissues,she didn't ask me...she could guess what's going on.Aunt Nomi held my face...her cold hands tries to comfort me...she wiped my eyes "Masuk Form 6,makcik rasa ada hikmah ni,dah dah tak nak sedih-sedih.Form 6 lagi banyak peluang lagi pun mama kan ajar form 6,nanti boleh jadi lawyer....boleh lebih score lagi....dah dah"...I don't know....I feel like vomiting and lock myself   in the toilet...I couldn't breathe...I couldn't see...my body is shaking....like a Parkinson's disease sufferer....my eyes couldn't stop.....crying...

Only 2 days more to go,and I am disappearing myself at the moment<----My mom's request actually.
7th May,my future will arrive! Whether they decided to accept me or...they just...entertained by my jokes and my babbles until they forgot to tick my name! Huhuhu

Great expectations bring great frustrations,so I'm kinda hope but not too high? Actually I was hoping that I could really....get the seat.Everyday I pray for my best friend and I so we can study together and I also pray for my fellow bloggers so we can achieve what we always wanted.Mom told me "If Allah didn't give what you want,it means that He has something Bigger for you".

"If I couldn't get Uitm's TESL....I will enter Form 6,and then I'll forget TESL! Looks like I have to find something else..."I said..in a little frustration

Mom:"No,you can't,this is the thing that you're good at.If you didn't get it.Allah has something better maybe your future will be brighter with Form 6 and I want you to undo your mistakes.Prove to everyone that you're serious this time...because you never did anything serious before."

Me:"Heh....the interview is the first serious thing I ever done! I even told them I dedicated the interview for your birthday as a birthday present.I've became the lawyer to myself...telling them I deserve to be given a second chance..to prove..my SPM is not a thing to be judged."

Mom:"We must have a second alternative,as a back up plan.I always pray for you every night and day,so you can get what you want."

My mom was right...I never been serious,I always take things too easy....Life is a joke?Life is game?
Maybe this is the right time that I have to start things seriously...I saw my work that has been abandoned for...almost 2 months...4 projects under the dust..my driving licence! Oh man...time is ticking...my licence would die on the 9th May...Die Die Die!<----What's the suitable term to determine the death of a driving licence?Hahaha! Direct translation :P.I never fully used my brain to think...sorry brain T_T.

Lately I've been dreaming about going to school...I didn't get TESL??Did I?

All I can do is now pray and tawakal.Dear Allah,You know what's best for me...But I want Tesl so bad...I don't want to go to school!Please! T_T....If my intentions are right...to help people to understand the world...then please help me to help them...


Ps:/Sorry about the darkness effect for my video,hehe :P.Somehow I wish I could be like Ryan Seacrest,Liselle Seacrest? Mwehehehe.Well I'm away so I hope that you have a nice day :D.I will blog crossing at your blogs when I'm visible :).

Labels: Awkwardness Of Liselle

Today is a very special day! Which I got a surprise for you....eheheh and that is my words of gratitude!

Step 1. Scroll down and pause my music
Step 2. Un mute your speaker if you put it on mute
Step 3.Hehehe well just watch then^^
I love you guys so much!

Ayuni,Ilishaheera,Shafiq,Boni,Littledolphin,Steffani,AnisAzziyati,Mira Mohamed,Miss Purple,Kay_are,Zubect,Cadlynn,Cappuccino,Miss S aka Starshine,Lysasofiia,Henrietta,Faza,HaniAsyira,DayangDeno,Choki,Haruno Hana,Ell Lina,Ieda Huda,Aira,Amierah and so much more!!!!

Forgive me for the clumsiness,my assistant is not there with me so I'm the camera-girl,the director,the script-writer,the dolly-grip and etc...hehe btw I used a phone camera....my Sony camera is dead...may it rest in pieces...Hehehe.

Labels: Awkardness and Ridiculousness

On every wednesday,I always see the word Wordless Wednesday...and then almost every blogger will post pictures with short posts,Wordless....wordless wordless.

Actually I feel sad for wednesday,how many words that you say today?Hundreds?Thousands??Not so wordless I think,hehehe but as a person that likes to go with the odds instead of beating the odds,I am starting my own wednesday and that is Wordfull wednesday.Maybe some of you realise that I did write short stories on last month wednesdays Wordfull Wed:The Mat...It's Alive and Wordfull Wed: The girl that has no heart.Heheh and a commenter didn't notice I wrote Wordfull instead of Wordless,well dude today I wrote about my explanation about my Wordfull Wednesday :D.

So I guess on every wednesday I will post some of my short stories or something that won't make my Wednesday Wordless hehehe.Everyday is wordfull!But Wednesday makes it more wordfull! hehehe.

Today I would like to thank you guys because you've been always here for me and with blogging we make the world go round when everyday we read about each other's life which is amazing and incredible.I would also like to thank the silent readers and anonymous followers<---I'm not so sure about these anonymous followers hehehe,because to me you are sincere bloggers,I really appreciate that :D today I hit 200 followers tada!I will always love you :D especially the ones that has been always special to me like Teenager Housemaid,Mr Clive,Lady Windsor,Miss Purple,Choki,Kay_Are,Little dolpin,Hani Asyira,Dayang Deno,Zubect,Ayuni and so much more!

May,I welcome you with open hearts and I'm waiting for the big day....May 7th...the date when my life will completely change! 350 degrees....So where the other 10 degrees?? I got to save it for something,hehehe maybe I'll keep my inner child till the end of my life.I forgot that I grew up,I'm almost 18....when I look at other people that nearly my age,the question that will pops out in my brain is "Whoa! She must be older than me!" ehehehe well what can I do? My growth is kinda...stopped early hehe.

When I was a kid,I always wonder why grown ups don't like toys anymore?
I mean whenever I entered Toy's R Us,my legs wont stop running at almost every section that filled with toys<----I couldn't control my excitement actually hehehe
If I got a chance to choose a toy to be bought, my heart will be bloomed like a Sunflower!
My smile will last until I got bored with my toys and then I want a new one....erkk I got bored easily.Kids don't be like me,I'm a very spoiled child hehehe don't ask your parents with ridiculous requests!

And then I grow up,my feelings towards toys are.....fading,so I guess I found the answer for my question "Why grown ups don't like toys anymore?".We change when our age gets older.We begin to realise about reality and leaving our fantasy.
When I get older,all the things that I wanted to know so badly slowly saying hello to me "Hey,I'm your answer right here".Oh now I know why....Aha! Okay..I understand now.There's no question that doesn't have any answer but when there's no question then there's no answer.Hehehehe you might having a very confusing moment reading today's entry....but I'm happy if you can understand what I'm trying to say or should I say "type".

Till now,my birthday cards will end with this quote "Although you're __ but you're still a baby to me"
My mom told me that she misses the old me that used to be a very bright and a cheerful girl.Sorry mom...I've change a lot after an incident that make me become a beast and a monster....but I'm still me though I don't smile like I used to,and I don't laugh like I used to.People change and I'm one of them,maybe you don't want to see me grow up and I will leave you sooner or later but....it doesn't mean that I'll forget you.When I see my old photos<--- I'm young in old photos heheh!,How happy am I at that moment and how cheerful am I back then....okay now I begin to miss my old days...

May,I hope you can give me enough time to change,
1.Control my temper
2.Find the lost me
3.UPU's result
4.Form 6 or Uitm?
5.Adios mi casa or Hello school...

Happy May everyone!

Labels: Finding...